Friday, June 6, 2008

Now is everything

Tonight I was reminded about something important. As I was watching television (catching up on my shows that were TiVo'd for the last two months!), a the conversations struck a cord with me where an actor said, "Now is everything." How true that statement is. Each day, each moment, is so important.When E was diagnosed last September, ten days before her fourth birthday, my world fell apart. Life changed. Forever. I now see life in a different way. The little hugs and kisses, the moments of joy, ultimately are what is most important. When I come home from work, she meets me at the door, wanting kisses and hugs and I no longer take those for granted. I hold her a little longer, kiss her a little more, knowing that THIS is what is important. My husband calls me Charmin (you know, soft toilet paper??) but I can't help it. I need to live in the now. I don't say no as much as I used to and say yes more often. I don't worry about stains on clothes or saving them for that special moment because that moment is now.

You're probably wondering why I am writing this. Well, E's 3 month scans are coming up next week and I'm starting to get apprehensive about them. That coupled with looking at the pictures for printing makes me a little sad that my little girl had to go through so much and grow up so quickly. It makes me sad knowing my 2 1/2 year old has the words "cancer" and "chemo" in her vocabulary.

I decided to photograph my girls more the last couple weeks. I tried to get more of their personality and less of what they were doing. You tell me what you think and if you see that in their photographs.

So in closing, tell those close to you that you love them. Listen a little more, talk a little less. Play with your children and give them extra hugs and kisses. I know I will.



TA Carbone said...

I am a cancer fighter, no I am not in Remission, I have Cancer but Cancer doesn't have me. I was given only 2 to 4 years to live and the doctors say I am a Miracle. I am over the 4 years mark and haven't been on Chemo for 2 years. But yes, everytime I go for that CAT scan I get the same way as you. I know it will still show up but I pray it hasn't spread.

Since being diagnosed, going through the surgery, and being rediagnosed I live each day by:
Forgetting about the Past
Live for Today
Maybe think about Tomorrow.

I am a Stage 4 Colon Cancer person


Lim said...

Jesus...Reading what you wrote and reading now ta carbone I feel like... Speechless right now. I wish I can be close to you guys to give you a big big hug. My heart is with you guys. The pictures are amazing. You doing the right thing. I did too.

Terri Fleming said...

Wow! I have just prayed for your little girl. I stopped and read the words by the picture because she has the same dress as my Vanessa.